What Should We Do About Gossip?

As the Ombuds for students at Georgetown University, I regularly engage with the undercurrents of campus life through countless conversations. One recurring theme that emerges is the complex nature of gossip—a phenomenon we all experience, whether as the subject, the source, or simply an observer. Gossip fundamentally shapes how we connect with one another, determining patterns of inclusion and exclusion in our community. While often complicated in its effects—sometimes beneficial, sometimes harmful—it remains an inevitable aspect of our social interactions.

On campus in classes, clubs, or student cohorts, gossip can play a number of roles by spreading news, shaping group norms, validating people’s feelings, and giving us a sense of belonging. It’s a natural part of any community, so pretending we can just shut it down completely isn’t very realistic.

However, things get messy when the effects of gossip shift from “social glue” to “social weapon.” That shift usually happens when gossip, both as content and behavior, is used to control, exclude, or tear someone down. I’ve talked to students whose groups became very tight-knit – but not always in a good way. In those circles, gossip can become a way to call people out behind their backs, and cause reputations to change overnight. Students outside the inner circle can feel anxious or unsure of their standing, worried that they might be the next target. Instead of building connection, gossip can spread suspicion and fear.

It’s a fine line between gossip that builds community and gossip that breaks it down.

I remember a situation at a previous job where this line came into focus. Someone casually mentioned their manager had been unfair in a recent interaction. Another coworker said they’d had a similar experience. Eventually, enough people started comparing stories that a pattern emerged: this manager was singling people out and then using disciplinary actions to keep them quiet.

Was that gossip? Technically, yes. But it also laid the groundwork for something important. Those informal chats helped people feel less alone, and eventually, several employees felt brave enough to raise the issue formally. That led to an investigation, and eventually, real change in that department. In that case, gossip wasn’t about tearing someone down; it was about people finding strength in shared experience and speaking up for what’s right.

Still, it’s easy for things to go sideways. Gossip can slide into rumor, create false assumptions, damage reputations, and divide people – especially in environments like campus or work, where trust and collaboration matter. That’s why it’s important to pause and ask: is this conversation helping or hurting?

In my role, I have talked with students who feel that their world is coming apart because their roommate, someone in their friend group, an ex-partner, or even a faculty member has talked about them to others behind their back (and let’s not even get started when social media enters the equation!) They feel that their reputation has been ruined, and they feel powerless to provide their side of the story. At those times, it’s difficult to know how to move forward, how to repair the damage to your reputation and even how to forgive the people who have engaged in “harmful” gossip. 

What I’ve seen is that open, honest, one-on-one conversations may be an appropriate path forward. These are not easy conversations to have, but they can help repair harm and keep relationships from eroding further. If that feels intimidating, you don’t have to do it alone – my office is always here to help talk things through and figure out how you’d like to approach those difficult conversations.

Working toward more direct communication won’t get rid of gossip entirely, and honestly, it shouldn’t. But it can help make sure our words are building trust instead of tearing it down.

– The OmBlog is a collaborative effort by the OSO team: Isabel Brooke, Riya Mittal and Dr. Daniela Brancaforte